I don't get it...

I don't get it...not one whit not one ounce...

I want to go inside myself and not have to depend on anyone for anything. I feel that I'm needy and searching people out. I feel awkward and unloved. I feel guilt and I feel all these bad feelings.

communication

I WILL PURPOSELY WRITE IN ALL CAPS. THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT THEY TELL ME THAT THEY WANT ME TO 'COMMUNICATE' MORE AND MAKE ME FEEL BAD BECAUSE i DON'T COMMUNICATE BUT WHEN i DO THEY CALL ME ON IT AND i SAY FUCK YOU YOU STUPID ASSHOLES GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THIS IS WHY i'M NOT GOING TO COMMUNICATE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. i DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO STUPID MOVIE NIGHT THEY CAN SUCK IT BECAUSE IT BECAME CO OPTED AND i COULDN'T INVITE THE PEOPLE i WANTED TO INVITE AND INSTEAD IT BECAME SOMETHING ELSE

stop focusing on the social and get to work on the work

let go of ambiguity stop trying to guess and understand you create false narratives and assumptions and you fall in their crevice and craters
if someone did not say hello then it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their mindframe just let go and move on and breathe focus on the things that matter the most focus on what will get you through the day

this way lies danger

negative thoughts bog down the mind...twist and turn in labarynthian spectacle
slow slow steady course before taking another step. close the mind open up the airways and breate deeply slowly so that it reaches the tips of your pores so that it invades your fingers and skin cells hold it then release
a woosh of dangerous danderous thoughts exhaled and relseased

What is Important

Cool calm and collected
cool calm and collected